Ooooooh! I'm on a roll! Ok, something is definitely up with me. My sister asked if I could be pregnant. Before you all get excited and call your grandmothers and cousins twice removed to share the news of my miraculous conception, I'm not. Period. Literally. It's just that, well, I'm nesting. I don't know what it is. My theory is I want to take advantage of the free slave labor before my
slaves errr, children, go back to school.
The other night I couldn't sleep at all. I mean painfully at all. I decided the best way to combat that was to get up and move around and what better way to do that then clean out my refrigerator...at midnight...12 a.m.... So, I got started. Now, before I go any further, I'm really not a "dirty" person. My mama raised me with a white glove. It's just the 4 younger boogers aren't. Frankly they haven't quite got accustomed to their mama's white glove! My mom used to say, "I couldn't believe, when you kids were young, I had to teach you EVERYTHING!" No truer words were ever spoken. There is not an intuitive clean bone in their bodies. So, enter the refrigerator. If mom isn't cleaning it, it doesn't get clean. To begin with, I literally had to sweep it out! Have you ever had to sweep out a refrigerator? Have you ever heard of such a thing? I probably should have used the vacuum, but I didn't want to wake my sleeping angels (gag). There was probably a year's worth of bread crumbs in the bottom. I found raisins in the bottom too. Who on earth dropped raisins in the fridge? Why were raisins even near the fridge? That's when I realized they weren't raisins but probably year old grapes that had dried up. Oh the story they must be telling. (thru their grape vine...grape vine? get it?) Next I washed and bleached everything. The next morning the kids were so amazed, #3 took a picture and posted it on facebook! What a smart alec.
The next day I cleaned out the bathroom closet. Inside lurked things like a bowl of half used pink hair dye. (hmmm wonder who used that) There were also toys used in 1998! (Well not really. We didn't live here then but it sounds more dramatic if I say there are toys in there 15 years old.) In addition, there were the expired bottles of medicine, empty bandaid rappers, and yes, used q-tips. Before you start worrying about using the bathrooms in my home, it's all clean now! Totally disinfected!
Today, I'm not sure what I'll be doing. I suppose I could work on laundry. Stop laughing. I know you're laughing. Fine, since you insist, I won't destroy my reputation by doing laundry. What are you going to do today? Plan my baby shower? Call LasVegas and place a bet on my due date? How bout doing the Drano test to see what the sex is? or maybe work on baby names. I'm partial to Percival Rupert. What do you think?
You know, now that I think about it, I'm going back to bed...